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We are told by the media how to dress, by governments how to think and by society how to act. These are all expectations forced upon us whether we acknowledge them or not.

What are expectations?

Expectations are ideas, actions or activities imposed upon you and they can range from going to church every Sunday to graduating top of your class. They are placed onto us at a very early age by our parents who they themselves where taught by their parents and so on. Expectations can be both generational and communal.

Generational expectations

It’s no secret that if you come from a broken family, however you wish to define it, there is a higher chance that you, yourself, have a higher chance of creating a broken family. I saw this first hand when I worked a few minimum wage jobs to “see what it was like” and the lack of family expectations is what lead to these workers, often unseen, doing menial jobs that provided little self-esteem or value to their ongoing lives. They where working minimum wage jobs because their parents, husbands and cousins where doing the same. Of course, some people are born into a lavish lifestyle but we all know that just because some are given everything, it doesn’t mean they will amount to anything more then Joe Public. What I am saying is that there is a very heavy influence placed upon you by your parents and this will affect your during your entire lifetime. These expectations, no matter your economic situation aren’t a fate you cannot escape but the influence, no matter, is always there.

Communal Expectations

You often hear of “Black communities” “Jewish communities” and the list goes on. They each have the distinctive moral code that they live by in addition to the codes imposed upon individuals by the greater society. For instance, the “Asian communities” place especially high academic expectations on their children while “Evangelical communities” place them more on spreading the word of Jesus. If you are lucky or unlucky enough to be born within several of these communities, you have a plate that is overflowing with expectations which can sometimes be contrary to one another.

Internal vs External Expectations

So far, I have described external expectations but we also have a host of internal expectations formed from our living experiences. Maybe you got beat up in school and decide to, one day, be the strongest person in the world, this is an internal expectation. Another might be wanting to best another student in your school in a specific subject. Regardless, we have more then enough internal and external expectations within each and every one of us to drive anybody else crazy.

Changing expectations

Now for the tough part, you may live by a certain moral or ethical code that you no longer with to have in your life. What do you do? Depending on where the expectations came from, this can take a long time to work out both internally and externally. But, as my last article indicated, you can make the decision in a split second and get the engine of change working for you a split second later. It doesn’t take a long time but don’t expect those around you to be able to be as nimble. Change within ones self is quick, creating an environment where others expectations of you change is a whole other story. Be honest, straight forward and stern.

The Bottom Line

Life is about experiences and creating memories, not living by others expectations.